


A Mirage of some Sorts

by AvengedAniZom



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Depression, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Epic Friendship, F/M, Fighting the system, Forbidden Love, Friendship/Love, Gay, Hogwarts, Immortal Tom Riddle, M/M, Mirror of Erised, Possible smut later, Rating May Change, Romance, Sad Harry, Suicidal Thoughts, Tom Riddle - Freeform, Umbridge is the worst, Young Tom Riddle, tomarry - Freeform, why am I doing this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-10-01 23:49:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10203611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvengedAniZom/pseuds/AvengedAniZom
Summary: Harry Potter wants to die. At least that's what he tries thinks everytime he closes his eyes and sees Cedric Diggory lying on the ground of the graveyard. Upon entering his fifth year at Hogwarts he struggles with friendships, love, and even his grades as he tries to hide and overcome his anger, guilt, and depression. And when Harry finds himself at his lowest after a brutal encounter with Malfoy he finds himself getting lost deep within the walls of Hogwarts never wanting to be found. That is until he finds a room, and in it is the Mirror of Erised, and inside of the mirror Harry finds a young Tom Riddle, who only Harry can see.What will become of Harry's life now?Takes places after the events of GoF (events of OotP changed a bit to fit the narrative).





	1. Hanging by a Thread

_Do you really think there's going to be a war Sirius?"_

_Sirius looked off into space, his expression tightened as he thought about the question. Sirius nodded, his voice low and grave. His wiry black hair barely brushed his shoulders, his eyes never met Harry's as he spoke._

_. "It...it feels like it did before.”_

Harry clutched the photograph Sirius gave him even harder. His eyes traced over each one of their smiling, bright faces, hope gleaming in their eyes. Harry softly brushed his thumb over the faces of his mother and father.

_You have you mother’s eyes._

Harry smiled, despite the urge to cry. He tried to not think about how much differently his life would be if Voldemort hadn’t murdered them, if Pettigrew hadn’t told, if they never joined the Order. But lately, with the fact of Cedric’s death and the denial of Voldemort’s existence had taken a toll on him. Harry would find himself intensely daydreaming often about how life would be with his parents. What their house would look like, oh how big would his room be! He could imagine they would try to give him the master bedroom so he would have more room for his books and brooms, if he ever wanted to collect them. He could imagine the two of them smiling as they took his picture in front of the Quidditch Cup in his big room. His dad would ruffle his hair while his mom gave him a hug telling him how proud she was, her red hair glowing in the sun.

_“I love you Harry.” She would say._

_And Harry would feel a great sense of tranquility, as if all was right in the world…_

“What’s that you got their mate?” Ron asked as he leaned over Hermione to see what was in his hands.

The warm images dispersed quickly as Harry blinked rapidly, his eyes focusing in on his surroundings. He turned to see Ron and Hermione looking at him expectedly.

Harry licked his lips. The serenity he was feeling was fading quickly.  “It’s a photo, here.”

Harry moved so they could get a better look at the photo and pointed to a woman with short black hair sticking out from the top of her head. She held the biggest smile. “That right there is Neville’s mother.”

“She’s pretty.” Hermione commented. Ron took the photo before handing it to Hermione and she scanned it shortly before handing it back to Harry.

Harry grabbed the photo and pulled but Hermione didn’t loosen her grip. Instead she looked at him with a curious twinkle in her eye.

“Are you okay Harry?”

Harry looked at the two of them and tried to smile but found he couldn’t muster up the strength to fake it. Instead he gave them a blank stare, trying to rid his face of all emotion. “I’m fine guys, really I am.” He hoped he sounded convincing.

Hermione released her grip on the photo and placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “You had a nightmare earlier Harry and it seemed pretty intense.” Hermione’s eyes searched his. “Was it about You-Know-Who again?”

Harry shook his head and looked outside the compartment window. Ahead he could the see the head of the train, smoke rising steadily from its chimney. He did not want to have this conversation but Hermione clearly didn’t get the message. She leaned in towards him, her eyes staring intently.

“Was it about Cedric?” She said softly.

Harry’s heart felt heavier at the mention of Cedric’s name. “I don’t remember ‘Mione, I’m still pretty tired actually. I may need to go back to sleep.”

In the corner of his eye he could see Hermione and Ron exchange concerning looks.

“We’re worried Harry. How are you...coping with all of it?”

Harry gritted his teeth. “A boy loss his life in front of me and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I led him to his death. No one believes me at all about what happened that night. They send me back to my uncle where Dudley can sit there and antagonize me for hours on end. Not only that but I had no other choice but save the him from a bunch of dementors only to be expelled AND then Dumbledore had to bail me out before shortly ignoring me. Tell me Hermione how would you be dealing with all of that?”

“Harry I didn’t mean to upset you it’s just, you need to talk about these things with someone.”

“No I don’t and I would appreciate it if we dropped it.”

Hermione turned to Ron. “Help me here, he’s your friend too.”

Ron looked nervously at Hermione and slowly shrugged his shoulders. “What do you want me to do about it Hermione he says he doesn’t want to bloody talk about it. So, don’t make him.”

Hermione huffed. “You can’t be serious Ronald?”

“I-”

“Anything from the cart?” The old trolley lady pushed their door open and looked at the three of them, boredom stretching out her wrinkled features. “I have some chocolate frogs restocked dears. Want some?”

“Don’t mind if I do!” Ron yelped, practically jumping out of his seat and away from the tense conversation.

Hermione sighed in defeat. “I’m sorry Harry. You know I can be a worry wart.”

Harry gave Hermione a small smile and patted her shoulder. “It’s okay Hermione, I overreacted a bit myself. So, I’m sorry too.”

The two of them shared a smile as Ron sat back down, pouting at the stack of black licorice in his hand.

“Where are your chocolate frogs?” Hermione asked.

“I couldn’t afford them.” He grumbled. “I tried to hand her one of your muggle coins but she wouldn’t take it.”

Harry laughed. “And why on earth would you do that?”

Ron shrugged and stuffed a piece of licorice in his mouth. “Worth a try. Want some?”

Hermione shook her head no while Harry took a couple.

“Is my mouth black yet?” Ron smiled, showing a row of teeth that looked covered in tar.

Harry chuckled. “Blacker than Snape’s ropes.”

“Blimey! What could get blacker than that? I couldn’t guess that was possible.”

Harry and Hermione laughed. Harry was beginning to feel better, the feeling of peace filling him up once more as he continued to laugh with his friends. He felt bad for letting himself feel so low to begin with. He was going to Hogwarts, one of the best wizarding schools in the word. He had great friends, good teachers, and Sirius to call family. He didn’t really have it that bad if he thought about that way. Maybe everything was going to be alright. Things always worked themselves out in the end, somehow. Certainly they would work for him again, they always did, and that was something Harry was eternally grateful for.

* * *

 

Harry wanted to die.

He lay alone in the bed space he shared with the other four Gryffindor boys, his eyes glued to the ceiling as he heard some of them yelling in the common room. He could make out Ron and Seamus arguing over a couple of others who would join in and include an opinion. It took all of his strength not to go down there and give Seamus another piece of his mind. Frustration and anger made Harry’s heart weigh heavy. He felt as if a dementor had just came and kissed him on the lips. He was sick of it, sick of it all, the constant stares and whispers as he passed. Tired of Draco’s offhand comments and Dumbledore’s silence.

Hot angry tears threatened to spill from his eyes but Harry did nothing to stop them. For once he wished he could join his mother and father and felt ashamed. They had died for him, how disappointed would they be if they saw him take his own life, making their sacrifice vain. He could try to blame them. Seamus and his mother were just as foul and brain washed as the rest of them. Or was Harry the insane one?

 _No_. He thought to himself, he would not let the Ministry or the Daily Prophet and their readers drive him to madness. He knew what he saw that night. At least Ron had his back and he knew if Hermione were there she would too. But were they enough? Harry grimaced.

For the first time in his life Harry wished he was somewhere other than Hogwarts.


	2. Chapter Two: Omniscient Pain

_Harry felt odd as he found himself standing inside the space of a narrow hallway. Harry knew he had never set foot in such a place but the feeling of de ja vu overwhelmed him. Straight ahead was one black tiled path that led to a dark metallic door with multiple symbols that shined under a singular pale light. The walls were the same glossy black as the pillars build in front of them._

_Harry licked his lips, an awful sense of dread had been surrounding him since he appeared. He had began to walk, against his own will towards the door at the end of the hallway. Harry felt stiff as he suddenly realized he had no control over this body, it felt like he was trudging through quicksand as he tried with all his might to stop walking. Harry looked around at the pillars, at the door he was getting closer too, the feeling of fear becoming suffocating. Harry looked down to the ground and wanted to cry out. His feet were sharp, fleshy, and white. Overgrown, chipped yellow toenails were attached to said feet and Harry knew immediately that he wasn't Harry._

" _Harry."_

_A vivid image of cloud filled glass balls stacked to the sky flashed through his mind._

" _Harry!"_

_He, more like Voldermort, took out his wand. The dark mind etched on his thin arm._

" _Harry!"_

" _Avada Kedavra!"_

"Harry!"

Harry almost jerked out of his chair as he felt a hand touch his arm. His heart beat madly against his ribcage as his eyes darted towards every corner in his surroundings. He was in a classroom, and in front of him was a dark wooden desk, equipped with his Defense Against the Dark Arts books, quill, and some paper. Harry released a big sigh of relief. It was all just a dream.

"Have you gone mad Harry?"

Harry glanced at Ron who was looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Just uh, daydreaming Ron."

"That must've been one hell of a daydream, you almost scared me the way you jumped up. I thought you were going to hit me."

Harry chuckled trying to stifle his fear and anxiety as much as he could.

"You said I almost scared you? Sounds to me like I actually did scare you."

Ron smiled. "You wish you could actually scare me. I've battled a troll, escaped man-eating spiders, AND the wrath of my mother. Nothing can scare me now."

Harry laughed. "Yeah well, did I miss anything?"

Ron shook his head. "Dumbridge hasn't showed up and I'm hoping it stays that way for," Ron glanced up at the clock. "eight more minutes so we can leave class with no punishment."

"Agreed."

"Were dreaming about anything good mate?" Ron asked.

Harry shrugged nonchalantly. "I was." He said trying to come up with something. "It was about a girl."

Ron's eyes became the size of the moon. "Who!?"

Harry smiled playfully. "I don't know if I can tell you."

Ron frowned, a look of fear had flashed on his face. "It wasn't Hermione was it?"

"What? No. Never! She's practically a sister."

Ron shook his head and averted his gaze. "Yeah she is. I just asked because that would be weird."

"Uh-huh."

"What are they doing up there?" Ron titled his head to the Patil twins sitting two desks in front of them.

_Real smooth Ron_. Harry thought as he glanced at the twins. If Ron thought his rush to change the topic and flustered cheeks were getting passed Harry, he thought wrong. Harry grinned at Ron's antics and focused on the twins.

He shrugged. "Beats me."

Harry watched as Parvati flicked her wand and a big paper bird began to levitate into the air. Slowly it flapped its thin paper wings and steadily began to sail across the room. Harry watched in amazement.

"That's pretty cool." Said Ron.

"Over here. Bring it to me." A pretty girl with long red hair sitting next to a studying Hermione urged.

Harry couldn't remember her name but she blew on the bird causing it to fly to Seamus, who swatted it causing raucous praise from Dean and some boys behind them. As the bird circled around Crabbe hit it with a pebble from his slingshot getting a few chuckles from the Slytherins hanging in the back. Harry watched as the bird soar over the candle-lit chandelier above him before gliding smoothly downward in his direction. He reached out his hand and felt the side of it before it flew to the desk in front him.

"Did you get a papercut?" Ron asked.

Harry chuckled. "No, it felt quite nice actually."

"It's just paper you loony."

Harry pushed Ron's arm who pushed back as the two shared a smile. Harry glanced at the old owl clock.

"Do you think we'll actually be able to leave? We have two minutes."

"I'll bet three knuts and an acid pop that we will."

Harry nodded. "Okay, deal."

Harry fiddled with his quill before glancing back up at the bird whom started flying around the twins. Suddenly, the paper bird decimated before them and into a series of scattered ashes that had fallen onto the Patil twins desk. They all looked with widened eyes, disappointed and in shock. In his peripheral, past the smoking pile of ash Harry saw two bubble gum pink heels stop in the center of the classroom. His eyes trailed up to the white stockings before witnessing the hideous pink dress that covered Delores Umbridge. Her brown hair shaped her wide face with thin curls and when she smiled, it reminded Harry of a hyena, always gleeful at others misery, especially when she giggled.

"Hello class." She spoke, her voice still as uncanny and unnatural as Harry first remembered at his trial.

She looked over all of them in the classroom and Harry was grateful that she didn't, or at least pretended, not to notice him.

Ron leaned closer to him and whispered. "Hey um, do you think I can give you those knuts later mate?"

Harry leaned over to respond 'a don't worry about' but his voice was instead becoming attentive to Umbridge who wrote her name in big italic letters on the board.

"Now I know I introduced myself at the feast but I feel compelled to do it again. I, am Delores Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister. I have worked in the ministry since the age of seventeen and now, I will be your Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor."

She smiled and turned to the table that was placed in front of her desk. On the table were stacks of short, thick black books. Umbridge flicked her wand and the books immediately levitated and began to make their way to each student's desk.

"I know that most of you have purchased books that were going to be originally used in class but there will be a new curriculum."

Harry huffed as one of the books slammed onto his desk. _Defensive Magical Theory by Wilburt Slinkhard_ was printed on the front.

"What the hell is this rubbish?" Ron hissed.

Harry looked at Umbridge who continued talking. "It's exactly what you called it Ron. Rubbish."

If looks were as deadly as spells, Umbridge would have keeled over.

"Now." She continued as the last book landed on a desk. "We will be reading this Ministry approved book by Wilburt Slinkhard not to necessarily fight or defend but to get all of you ready for your OWLs."

Umbridge turned back to the board and began writing. "Ordinary Wizarding Levels exams. You will study and learn what you need to pass them. Any questions?"

If anyone did have a question Umbridge didn't give them any time to ask as she smiled and stood in front of her desk.

"Since we are in the Defense Against the Dark Arts class I feel it would be unjust if I did not mention this. Now, I know there have been rumors going around claiming that the Dark Lord has returned. But fear not children, those are all lies to stir controversy."

Harry groaned. Could he get one day where there wasn't someone calling him a liar? "Give me a break."

"Is there something you have to say Mr. Potter?"

Harry looked at her and she stared back, with a smile of course. "What is it that you have to share with the class?"

"I was saying Professor, that the rumors are true, the dark lord has returned. I saw him with my own eyes."

There was a series of gasps as Umbridge shook her head, looking cross. "Tut tut tut. Children calm down."

Umbridge focused back on Harry. "Let me announce this so everyone understands. What you saw Mr. Potter was a projection. You are so fearful of the Dark Lord that you conjured him up to ration out how Mr. Diggory died. There was no Dark Lord there."

"Yes there was!" Harry yelled, surprising himself and Umbridge who slightly jumped. "I was there, I saw him die! He cast the killing curse on Cedric and killed him! Lord _Voldemort_ killed Cedric! And no stupid book is going to help us fight him!"

Harry could feel and _see_ the tension in the room with every face he glanced at. Umbridge pursed her lips angrily.

"Harry Potter see me after class for detention."

Harry stood in rage. "What for? Speaking the truth!"

"I will NOT have this intolerance in my classroom do you understand Mr. Potter?"

"I—"

"Just because you are the so called chosen one does not mean you can come in my classroom and plant your seeds of deception in the minds of your peers. I will not have any of it!"

"But I'm not lying! Why would I lie about such a thing? What would I have to gain from th-ah!"

Harry almost bit through his tongue as he clamped his mouth shut. Behind his scar a prickling pain spurred and spread throughout his body. Harry felt Ron grab onto his sleeve but pushed him gently away.

"Would you please stop making a scene and sit down Mr. Potter?"

Harry winced as the pain continued, he could feel the growing stares of everyone around him, some were filled with remorse and others annoyance. Harry slowly sat down despite Ron's protests and the pain began to disappear as quickly as it came.

Harry waved a dismissive hand to Ron. "I'm fine." He muttered. "It's going away."

"Shouldn't you go to the nurse mate?"

"No, no it's okay."

Harry looked to the front of the class to see Umbridge give him a small, satisfied smile. "Glad to see you're done with your performance Mr. Potter. Now class, where were we?"

* * *

"I can't believe she did this too!" Hermione cried out as she cradled his hand.

Harry hissed as Hermione began to wrap his hands in a bandage. The black and red bruises that coated his hand were starting to disappear under the white cloth. Harry looked at Hermione who looked ready to cry.

"You have to report her Harry. She can't get away with this."

Harry sighed. "It won't do any good Hermione."

"Are you mad?! If you report this she won't be able to do this to another student, let alone someone younger than you. What if she did this to a first year."

Harry slid his hand out of her grip and pulled the rest of the bandage in place. He was physically and mentally drained from the awful day and wished for nothing more than his bed. Harry leaned onto the arm of the couch and closed his eyes trying to ignore the other Gryffindor's in the common room that were staring at a livid Hermione.

"Can we just deal with this another time?" He pleaded.

"Harry!" He felt the weight of couch shift and opened his eyes to see Hermione, with her hands balled and nose flared, standing over him.

"If you don't say something I will!"

"Hermione no! Look I'm already dealing with a lot of issues I don't want to put any more on my plate."

"But this isn't just about you Harry!"

Harry stood up. "I don't care! None of these people believe me anyways so why should I help them?"

Hermione looked taken aback. "This isn't like you Harry you've never been so…"

"So what Hermione? I've never been so what!"

"Selfish Harry! God it's almost like I don't know you anymore, you're a completely different person now." She said as she sat back down on the couch putting her hands through her hair in frustration.

"I understand you're having some problems Harry but why are acting like this?"

Harry shook his head and laughed, anger echoed through every breath. "You're the smart one here Hermione so you figure it out."

"Harry!"

He interrupted. "I'm going to go get some fresh air. And please for the love of all things you hold dear don't follow me."

Harry didn't wait for a response but he couldn't walk away quickly enough to avoid seeing Hermione's hurt expression. Hurriedly he rushed out of the Gryffindor common room and onto the next flight of stairs that stopped at his podium. Harry went hurriedly down the stairs with no specific destination in mind. He just wanted somewhere safe and somewhere quiet. Harry went down another flight of stairs that led to the second floor and down a hallway where he recognized some of the classrooms. Of course they were all empty as it was the end of the day and Harry tried to open the closest one he could reach. Harry took out his wand and prepared to cast Alohomora if the door was locked. To his surprise it opened when he simply turned the knob. Immediately Harry walked in.

The classroom was pretty empty except for a couple of standard chairs, many that were scattered but still facing the front of the room where a large desk held an empty cage. There were two big curved topped arch windows behind the desk that showed a great view of the sky and cliffs of Hogwarts. Harry walked up to the desk and saw an attendance sheet with Professor McGonagall's signature on it. He glanced at it briefly before focusing on the windows again. He made his way to the right window, whose glass frame was missing and almost stepped in a huge puddle trying to get to it. Harry wondered why the puddle was there and why it was _still_ there. But the puddle was the least of Harry's concerns as he managed to step over it and right in front of the window. He pressed both his good and bruised palm on the sides of the open window and held a breath.

Harry looked out the window and briefly, as if he was casually making a choice about what kind of breakfast he should have in the morning, wondered if he should jump. If the pain on his palm and the pain in his head, and back, and heart, mind and memory, would just all go away. It probably wouldn't go away he concluded. He just wouldn't notice it because most likely he would be distracted by the pain that would erupt in every other part of his body if he fell. Harry opened the window and looked down and felt a little nauseous. Everything from this height looked like little blurs. He could barely make out students, their black robes made them look like scurrying ants as they made their way around the campus.

Slowly, Harry grabbed onto each side of the sill and pushed his way up to where his knees were resting on the stone frame. Harry felt a calm breeze flow through his hair, causing his black locks to tickle his forehead and smiled. Harry closed his eyes, it felt so peaceful up here, so freeing. His smile grew bigger as the temperatures of September chilled his hands and face. He could just let it all go now, all he had to do was let go. Cedric. Mom. Dad. Harry began to lean slowly forward his grip gradually began to slip…

And then there was pain.

Harry slammed his hand against his forehead and fell away from the window and onto the stone floor. He cursed at the newfound pain as his scar began to sting once more and let out a frustrated cry as he rubbed at his forehead as if the hard rubbing would make the pain disappear. He was so confused, and so surprised, usually the pain was a burning pressure, like the feeling of being hit by a massive wave, or a bludger. Since this morning, it felt like a series of bee stings that just kept growing and growing whenever it emerged.

"Why does this keep happening to me?" Harry moaned as he lay on the floor, forming into a fetal position. "What do you bloody want from me you stupid scar?"

Harry twisted on the floor in agony. The pain had come out of nowhere and similar to his time in class with Umbridge, there were no usual visions of Voldemort. "Merlin's beard! If I knew this would happen I would've never climbed. I would never bloody jump, ever.

The pain stopped.

Harry's eyes widened and he took a deep and slow breath to recover. After a few minutes of nothing but occasional chirping from birds and his own breathing Harry poked at his scar. Nothing. The pain had just ceased. Harry scrambled onto his feet and groaned. His shoe had landed in the puddle and Harry hadn't even noticed the water had soaked into his sock until now.

Harry stood up and recoiled at the way his sock squelched in his shoe. He looked into the puddle ready to give the inanimate water a piece of his mind when he saw something that disturbed him. There was a person. The water was a bit murky but Harry swore what he could make out were black eyes and dark hair.

Harry immediately looked behind him a look of petrified fear was now replaced with utter bewilderment. Harry squinted.

"Filch?"

"Yeah, and why are you in here Harry? And why are you staring at me like that? Get out of here you!" Cried Filch. "Shoo Potter! Class has been dismissed!"

Dumbfounded Harry silently sped out of the classroom before Filch would find this meeting as an opportunity to give him detention. Those eyes, they were black, cold, and lifeless. But Harry couldn't shake the feeling that he made contact with those eyes before, he just didn't know when or where.

Despite his doubt and increasing fear that he was going crazy Harry knew it was definitely not Filch he saw in the puddle, it was a definitely a boy, a young one at that.

"Hey Harry how's it going?"

Harry turned to Neville and smiled, genuinely because Neville was nice and familiar.

"I'm okay Neville, I had a pretty bad day."

"Oh. Sorry to hear that Harry are you going to the common room too?"

Harry actually had no plan or direction where he was going, but he thought it was best to probably go and sleep everything away. He need to destress and deconstruct everything that had happened to him today. He couldn't possibly do that with his brain constantly running at one hundred miles per hour. "Yeah Neville, how have you been by the way?"

Neville's face lit up. "I've been pretty good, my Nan got me this really cool badge of my favorite band see." Neville pointed to the badge on the top of his backpack. "But I reckon she's going to be a bit mad at me when I tell her I don't need my D.A.D books anymore. I'm not even sure if she can return them."

By the time they had reached the common room door, fed the Fat lady the password, and came in Neville was still rambling on about his Nan. He stopped however once he realized Harry was no longer paying attention and was instead looking at Ron and Hermione.

Hermione looked at Harry and then looked at Ron. "We can finish this in the library."

"What? But I don't want to." Ron whined.

"Fine then, I'll be upstairs." She said and without another word or glance at Harry she stormed upstairs.

"What's wrong with her?" Harry asked, although he felt he knew the answer.

Ron began to play with hands. "She just feels bad mate."

Ron looked at the stairs to make sure the coast was really clear. "She told me she feels like she's been stepping on your toes recently. Like every time, she tries to help you it makes things worse. I tried to talk her out of it. I even managed to make her laugh but I guess she's still down."

Harry looked to the floor shamefully and felt Ron gently nudged his shoulder.

"What happened mate? I go to the bathroom for a few seconds and then everyone goes ballistic, it's like I can't leave you too alone for five minutes."

"Yeah well, maybe you should referee us then." Harry said trying to make light of the subject. Ron snickered but the comment didn't make Harry feel any better.

"I'm going to go check on her and apologize."

"Well alright." Ron said as Harry began to go upstairs. "And when you're done do you think you could send her down here. I still need some help with homework."

"I'll tell her." Harry replied before he completely disappeared up the stairs.

"Hermione?" Harry called out as he went into her room. Inside Katie and Romilda were talking to each other while Hermione stuck to the other side of room, her head buried in a book.

Harry turned to Katie and Romilda. "Do you guys think you could give a bit of privacy please just for a few minutes?"

"No need for that Harry. They can stay if they like." Hermione barked beneath her book.

Katie and Romilda looked at the two of them until Katie finally got up, pulling Romilda along who held a sort of glee in her eyes, as if she couldn't wait to start gossiping about them the moment they were out of ear shot.

Once Harry saw them disappear down the hall he immediately sat down on the edge of Hermione's bed. "Before you say anything Hermione I want to say that I'm really sorry and I shouldn't have said what I said. I don't want to lose this friendship Hermione so I just ask that you…maybe be a little passive with me. Allow me to bring my problems to you instead of vice versa. And I'm really sorry, again."

Harry couldn't see Hermione's face under _Silent Spells: The Mind Behind the Magic_ but he reckoned she was still upset. "Look if you don't want to forgive me, that's understandable. I have been a real jerk lately."

"A massive, enormous, phenomenal, jerk."

"And I don't deserve your compassion."

Hermione chided. "You really don't."

"But will you please find it in your heart not to hate me?"

Hermione slammed her book shut and placed it on the night stand beside her. She began to fiddle the edge of her sleeve, deliberating on what she should do. After a few minutes, she looked up at Harry and he could see the uncertainty in her eyes.

"Do you promise you won't ever be so foul again?"

"With all my heart I will try to never be so foul."

"And what if you do end up being so foul?"

"Then please cast a jinx on me. Maybe Anteoculatia would suffice."

That got a smile from Hermione.

"Come here." She said finally, with open arms.

The two of them hugged and Harry felt he wanted to break down in that moment. "I need help 'Mione, I'm just I'm turning into the wrong person you know." He muttered into the hug.

Hermione squeezed him even tighter. "You're going to fine Harry, you've always been good. Just because some people make bad choices doesn't mean they are bad people Harry. That includes you okay."

Harry nodded and hugged her even more. He hoped with every fiber in his being that she was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tom is coming super super soon!! Thanks for reading and any feedback is appreciated. 
> 
> Stay awesome~!


	3. The Breaking Point

Harry thought the day was going well. They all had for the past two weeks, seemed to be turning back into his favor. Sure, Dumbledore still wasn't speaking to him, Umbridge was still a ministry militant, and there were still Death Eater deniers everywhere he turned, but Harry found he was trying his best. Ron and Hermione were still kicking by his side and his scar was not as bad as it had been during his first week. Harry looked at the letter he had just written for Sirius laid out perfectly before him on his crinkled bed sheets. All he had to do was sign it before he sent it off and then…well Harry shrugged. He figured he could go to the basement kitchen and say hi to the house elves while they gave him some snacks to carry over until dinner. Harry dipped his quill in ink and with a steady hand wrote his signature, he made sure he placed the letter onto a notebook of course. When he was done he gently folded the parchment and sealed it, before turning to Hedwig. Hedwig looked at him with her bright yellow eyes and cooed. Harry smiled and opened her cage, as she shook her body to ruffle her feathers and calmly tottered to the opening.

"Here you go." He said as she cooed once more and flew out of her cage, rested herself carefully on his shoulder, and pecked playfully at his hair.

Harry made sure to pet her gently and scratched any spots that may have been itching under her feathers. Afterwards he climbed out of bed and to the window between his bed and Ron's. Quietly Harry opened the window and held the letter in an outstretched arm as Hedwig fluttered her wings, grabbed the parcel lightly with her talons, and flew out the window. Harry's smile stretched from ear to ear because the day was so prospectively good and Ron's snoring was making it all better. Harry decided he would have to get a separate pocket of goods for Ron when he woke up. On his way to the kitchen and out of their living quarters Harry turned around just as Dean and Seamus were coming in. He waved to Dean and ignored a mutually silent Seamus as he walked out, eager to the thought of warm cauldron cake feeling his belly.

Harry waved and said his hi's and hello's as he passed by others. When approached by Fred and George who both wanted hi-fives Harry just laughed at waved, cautious of the tricks they may have had literally up their sleeve. As Harry made it to the first floor he decided to take a shortcut. Outside was a small path that led to the back entrance of the kitchen that Harry and Ron usually took late at night to avoid Filch. Although it was nowhere near dark Harry thought it would nice to get a breath of fresh air and wildflowers. Harry made his way to the outdoors and trekked peacefully down the stone path. On his way, he saw the stone bench usually covered with lilies was occupied by Draco and his goons. Harry kept his head straight and refused to let his eyes wander on the bullies.

"What's got you so happy Potter?"

Harry continued walking until Draco quickly jogged in front of him with Crabbe and Goyle in toe.

"None of your concern Draco."

"Ah Potter I just want to have a little chat." He glanced at Crabbe and Goyle and as if on cue, they mimicked his smirk.

Harry sucked his teeth but tried to keep his smile alive. "What do you want Draco?"

"I just want to see how everyone's favorite wizard is doing." His sprouted, his tongue coated in sarcasm.

Harry rolled his eyes. "I'm fine."

"Tell me something Harry." Draco said with a raised eyebrow.

"Something."

"You think you're funny?" Draco hissed.

"Do you?"

Draco turned around, looking full of himself, and haughtily spat. "I think it's funny how everything thinks you're the savior of the wizarding world when you can't even save one student!"

Harry narrowed his eyes. "Back off Draco."

"Oh look the chosen one doesn't want be told the truth!" Draco laughed as Crabbe and Goyle followed, albeit looking uncomfortable in the process. "Well Potter you're just going to have to live with the fact that you let Cedric die and your mudblood mothe-"

Harry took out his wand and the word flew out before he could stop it.

"Crucio!"

Draco let out a bloodcurdling scream as he instantly hit the floor, his limbs flailed as he writhed in agony. The screams that spilled from Draco's lips made Harry flinch, but his grip remained steady on his wand.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Draco cried.

He needed to stop, the sickness that grew and stirred in his gut told him so, but Harry only felt his grip on his wand tighten and his feet stayed planted to the floor. As Draco's face became darker shades of red and his screaming perversed, Harry wished someone would stop him. Crabbe and Goyle were right there! Their wands out and ready, and yet they did nothing but stare at him and scream obscenities. Past the two of them he saw pointed heels peaking from the black of Professor McGonagall's robes. He heard her before he saw them.

"What is the meaning of this? What is going on?" She asked quickly.

As she came closer her steps became quicker and her expression more horrified.

"Potter!" She cried out as she took out her wand. "Expelliarmus!"

Harry felt the wand fly forcibly from his hands as Professor McGonagall came rushing to Draco's side. She placed a hand on his sweaty forehead and gasped.

"Potter what have you done?" She cried.

As if a cloud had been lifted, Harry's rageful expression contorted into one of worry. His hands shook at his sides as he fought not to break down in frustration. To his dismay, he saw Mrs. Norris and Filch wobbling to the scene, attracted to the noise. Along with them were other students who were now stopping to looking at the commotion, whispering as they watched intently.

"Come here you!" Filch hissed as he reached out to lock a grab on Harry's shirt. Harry instinctively stepped away.

"I can explain please!" He cried out in his defense.

"You're in for it now Potter! I can expulsion in your future! Heh heh heh come here!" Filch jeered.

Harry dodge him again. Quickly he took another step back only to feel a small object resting behind his foot. As he fell onto the floor, he could see Mrs. Norris purring as she scrambled from under his legs. Harry mentally cursed the cat as he began to scramble backwards and away from a gleeful Filch. Harry barely picked himself up just in time to completely bolt in the opposite direction. He pushed past though those in his way as he climbed the set of stairs he had just used a few moments before. People were screaming in either delight or fear as he whizzed by. As Harry made his way to the grand staircase he ran into the middle of a set and paused. Harry looked down and saw several of the stairs moving. Students clogged all except one, two levels below him, was a staircase that began to steadily move back into its original position after a student hurriedly walked off of it and to their destination. He could hear his professor's voices as they got closer.

"Harry! Someone please stop him!" He heard McGonagall order.

Harry looked down at the moving steps and bit his lip. Every sane cell in his body was screaming for him to turn around as he climbed onto the railing. Harry took one last hard look at the steps, closed his eyes, and jumped.

The impact came quicker than he anticipated and Harry let out a whisper of pain as his gut hit the railing before he doubled over and landed on the steps, finding it hard to breathe. Harry wished badly that Hermione was with him to find a more logical – and less painful, way out. Harry grabbed onto the rail and slowly he pulled himself up as he heard his name being screamed into the air. He had no idea if anyone saw him and cared even less if they had as he held his gut and limped down the steps. As he made his way through the small frame, before him was a pair of small brown stairs with no railing. There was a little pocket of space to the right of the stairs, some of its contents hidden from his view. In front of the stairs was nothing but a big tall stone wall. Harry carefully made his way down the stairs, his hope of hiding until things calmed down died as he made his way to the bottom. To the left of the stairs was nothing but more wall space leaving the way he came as his only entrance and escape.

"You've got to be kidding me!" He cursed as he ventured to the right and looked into the tall empty space.

Directly in front of him was a purely stone wall, another dead end, _but_ to the side of him there was a tall black door. Several markings were carved in its side as gloss covered it in patches. The portions that didn't shine were dull and peeled in layers, revealing the brown of wood.

"Mr. Potter!"

 _Of course, someone just had to find me._ Harry swallowed, and despite its dreadful looking décor, pointed his wand at the door, and calmly called out a spell.

"Alohomora."

To his dismay heard no clicking of a lock or saw the turning of the handle. Confused Harry shouted another.

"Liberare!" The door remained locked and unscathed.

"Cistem Aperio!"

"Bombarda!"

Harry covered his face as the blast of Bombarda hit the door. After a few seconds the smoke cleared as bits and pieces of the concrete that framed the door near the lock, scattered along the floor.

"Harry Potter!"

His heart dropped as the shrill and unnatural voice of Umbridge filled the vicinity.

"Blood hell!" Panicked, Harry slammed his body into the door repeatedly, ignoring the pain that spiked up his side.

"Come on you stupid door!"

Harry slammed his head into the door and sighed in defeat. He closed his eyes and began to steady his breathing. He had to ready himself for the pain Umbridge would bestow upon him the moment he was caught. He instinctively grabbed his bandaged wrist and tried to push away the thought of red and black bruises growing on his skin. He could imagine what he had to write:

_I mustn't tell lies._

_I mustn't harm others._

"Please." He whimpered in defeat. He could hear the clicking of heels on the floor above him and Umbridge's voice, clear and crisp as she talked at the group of professors that were already following him. Harry tried to blink away the tears spurred from his stress.

"I will do _anything_ if you just open."

Harry felt a small prickling emerge beneath scar. With widened eyes, Harry grabbed for his chest to calm down his beating heart as flashes of the window and his first day of Umbridge's class rushed through his mind. He wasn't sure whatbut Harry knew it meant _something,_ it always did, and the reason was always clear. Somehow, his scar wanted his attention, it wanted him to act. Quickly Harry turned the knob on the door and pushed. To his bewilderment and increasing concern the door gave way, leaving cool air to escape from behind it's frame and prickle the hairs on his arms. Harry didn't allow himself to think twice. Immediately he rushed inside the dark room, pushed the door shut, and allowed the darkness to engulf him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare yourself, for Tom is coming.


	4. Voice of a Snake

The only thing Harry could hear now was his own breathing. The moment he pushed the door shut behind him was the moment all the yelling and clicking of shoes stopped. Harry placed a hand on his chest to try to slow down his racing heart. The dark that surrounded him only made the pressure worse. There were no windows making the air dense and everything impossible to see. Slowly Harry took his other hands and moved it from the old peeling door to get a feel for the wall, it was thick, cold, and Harry raised his arm a bit to feel the dent between each block, bricked like a concrete he noted. Harry took the same arm he used to feel the walls and took his wand out of his pocket.

 “Lumos.” Harry whispered as a warm yellow light bathed a section of the room before him. Harry scanned the room, his eyes went over every empty corner in the room carefully until he realized, more like convinced, himself that he was the only living thing in the room.

The only thing that made him uneasy was the big bulky object that stood straight ahead of him. It was wide and much taller than him and took on a slim rectangular shape. Harry looked at it up and down, left to right, but saw nothing to reveal its true form as it was covered from head to toe in a red silk cloth. Harry stepped forward cautiously, as the sound of his own footsteps echoed against the walls, Harry squeezed his hands into a fist to steel his nerves.

“Ahh.” Harry groaned in pain as his scar began to prickle beneath his skin as he got close enough to touch the fabric. Despite the pain, Harry reached out brushed the cool fabric the cool fabric with his fingers. He felt a sense of familiarity wash over him as he continued. He wanted to see what was behind the sheet, what beautiful secret might he have stumbled upon now. Harry knew he should probably fall back, leave, receive his punishment, and then bring Hermione and Ron to come investigate this with him. However, Harry knew deep down this was a time to rely on himself, only he could feel the pain of his scar as he felt the smooth fabric. Only he could understand this attraction he had to it. Harry grabbed onto the fabric with a firm grip and pulled.

“And why would you do such a thing like that?”

Harry yelled in fright as his hands retracted back to his sides as the fabric rustled before remaining in position as if it was never disturbed.

“You’re always going head first into potential danger.”

Harry whipped his head around with his wand at the ready. “Who’s there?” He spat with as much authority as he could muster.

“Oh Harry Potter.” The voice said.

It was smooth, cold, and …familiar? Harry clenched his jaw as he tried to fight off the feeling of de ja vu once again. This familiarity, this feeling of remembrance was becoming suffocating. Harry carefully stepped forward with his wand sticking out of sweaty palm. One step. Two. Three. Harry stopped as a pair of black shoes entered his peripheral. His eyes climbed up the figure, up the black robes, to find the Slytherin crest that was pinned below a pale neck that supported the face of-

Harry’s jaw fell open as his eyes rested on pale skin, dark eyes, and a head full of dark brown hair, neatly sculpted to fit his face. Before him stood an image he never thought he would see again.

“It’s not you T-Tom. No, it can’t-Is it?”

“Curiosity killed the cat Potter.” Tom said as he crossed his arms and gave Harry a cold smile. “Didn’t your parents ever teach you that?”

“Stupefy!” Harry yelled, bathing the room in darkness.

“So you can hit me with a non-lethal spell but curse your peers. How saint-like of you Potter.” Tom said as the fiery spell went right through them and hit the wall behind him. “That won’t work anyways.”

“Lumos.” Harry whispered in a strained voice and once again he could see, see Tom standing in a corner with his hands folded together, a smirk embedded on his pale face.

“I won’t hurt your Harry.”

“What? What are you even doing here!? How are you possibly in front of me?” Harry stuttered.

“I can’t even…” Harry rambled on as he paced viciously back and forth, combing his hands through his hair as he groaned. “I must be absolutely mad.”

“Ha is that really new news?.”

Harry turned towards Tom and pointed at him accusingly. “You’re not real. You can’t be. You’re just a result from, from stress. That’s why I can’t touch you! A figment of one’s imagination.”

“Well it’s pretty complicated.”

“Well I’m listening.” Harry spat.

“When you destroyed my diary that night.” Tom started, his voice full of disdain as he recalled his defeat. “The last remnants of my soul, this piece of it anyways, latched itself onto something much more ancient and more powerful.”

“That.” Tom pointed behind Harry. “Is the mirror of Erised.”

“Why is it covered?”

“Use your brain Harry.”

Harry’s expression softened as his lips pursed in confusion. “I thought Dumbledore,” he mumbled to himself as he looked at the covered mirror. The mirror that shouldn’t be in front of him to begin with. “Dumbledore said…”

“He says a lot of things Harry, you of all people should know that. Here I’ll give you a tip, you can’t trust your precious Dumbledore ever. He-”

“Shut up Tom.”

“He does nothing but tell half-truths and keep secrets for his own selfish reasons. And you Potter he just abandons you with no word and no explanation-”

“I said shut up!”

“At least I knew the reason why he kept away from me, it was fear but you? Nobody fears you so what is it? Embarrassment from your claims? Pity? I see the way you look lost in the hallways when he walks by you-”

“The hell with this.” Harry muttered, knowing he was two seconds way from losing it, Harry turned sharply on his heels and made his way to the door.

“Where are you going Potter?”

Harry looked at him incredulously. “What does it look like? I’m leaving, I’m tired of this crap.”

“You don’t want to do that."

“You can’t keep me here Tom. You’re just a-” Harry didn’t know what to call him. “a…a ghost.” He settled on, quickly he grabbed for the door’s handle.

“Wait Harry Potter!”

Harry paused, surprising himself.

“Look I’ll strike a deal with you. One that will allow me to disappear from Hogwarts forever.”

… _I can’t believe this…_

“I’m listening.”

“I need books. Several books which may give me insight on what to do. Of course, I assume you know I would need your help to research considering I am near intangible.”

Hesitantly Harry asked. “What do you need?”

“We’ll start with Royal Warfare and the Conjurer’s Calamity. They are two of several books I’ll be needing but we can stick with those for now and see how you fare.”

“And how exactly will those make you disappear?”

“If I can find the right ritual and the right potion I may be able to separate myself from the mirror.”

“Pfft. Just so you can go on and possess something else. Another student perhaps.” Harry frowned. “Do you think I’m stupid?”

Tom chuckled. “We can talk about your stupidity another day Potter but for now. This. It’s a risk you should want to take. If you leave me here I promise I will never leave you alone, I’ll haunt you and your friends every hour, day and night. And let’s face it, you’ll never be able to fully destroy your present Voldemort without getting rid of me.”

“What? I could just easily shatter the mirror.”

“You could if you ever figure out how to begin with. Buy you would be destroying what may become of use one day. Who knows what you might need it for?” Tom said as he shrugged casually, but he as his eyes met Harry’s, those lifeless dark eyes, Harry knew Tom had way more information than he let on.

Harry sucked in his teeth and sighed. “Where….where can I find these books?”

“The Conjurer’s Calamity and Royal Warfare are in the forbidden section Potter so please care not to get caught. Maybe you could use that invisible cloak of yours?”

“How do you-” Harry shook his head, smiling bitterly at the utter ridiculousness of the situation. Of course, the apparition of his sworn enemy. The man who tried to kill him both past and present forms would know about his cloak.

 “I’ll get your bloody books Tom.” Harry hissed. “And I’ll help you even, but the moment I can touch you is the moment I will destroy you. This world has no place for you.”

“I will see you again Harry Potter.” Tom said in such a dismissive and arrogant manner that made Harry angrier, only because he was right. Harry would have to do this again.

“Don’t get used to it.” Harry spat defiantly. Without another word, he immediately yanked open the door and let it slam behind him.

Harry squinched his eyes as the light from the hallway pierced through his glasses. After a few seconds of rapid blinking Harry looked up the stairs, he could hear his professor’s voices, knowing their image would pop up before him soon enough. He had to tell them about Tom immediately that away it would be out of his hands and out of his hair. _But would they believe you?_

Harry winced as the doubted planted itself in his mind. What would he do if they wouldn’t believe him? What if only he could see Tom? Was he willing to risk more backlash for another claim he may not be able to prove? It’s not like he could count on Dumbledore anymore to aid him. And the doubt itself? Harry shook his head in frustration, for all he knew Tom could’ve been the one to whisper it in his ear. He knew nothing of Tom’s power, how much he was truly capable of even in a ghost-like state.

“Mr. Potter there you are, don’t move!” He heard above him.

For now, Harry just had to play Tom’s game. Hopefully, he thought as Umbridge performed expelliarmus and his wand went flying, hopefully he would win.

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! So here is the chapter as promised. I thought I would get through it much later but nope I managed to make it tonight Sweeet! Since I have a summer job this story may be updated between 1 to 3 times a month depending on the length of each chapter so I hope that’s enough.
> 
> Also, I post updates as chapters to get as many readers to know I haven’t abandoned ship and what’s going on so they’ll prepare. I know it’s frustrating but it’s the best way for me, sorry in advanced! But they only get their own chapter when I’ve hit hiatus territory (I haven’t posted in two months) and they get labeled if that helps, sorry. As always all of your reviews and concerns are welcomed and help a lot! So, I’m going to stop typing in a bit and you guys shall remain awesome.
> 
> XO

**Author's Note:**

> Hi lovelies, this is my first Harry Potter fic that I'm ony posting and I'm super excited. Hope you guys like/stay tuned for what I have planned.


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